I’ve been feeling extremely blessed.
And a little guilty.
I was so worried about being alone. Being on my own. Who was going to take care of me? Of my kids who I couldn’t take care of? I felt abandoned. Scared.
But I have been so blessed.
From random acts of kindness, to dinners, to treats, to the miraculously slow-ticking of the clock so I can get everyone to church on time, to a few more meals, to fresh baked loaves of bread, to paper products in the mail, to lawns being mowed, and garbages being taken out, and my kids playing with neighbors for hours, and the greatest of all blessings this week – my pile of dishes being done for me… I have been overwhelmed.
Completely overwhelmed.
And guilty.
Because there are so many people more deserving than me. With more ailing predicaments. More legitimately sympathetic circumstances. Perhaps, without even an end in sight. My end is unknown. But at least I know there is one.
And despite my pathetic plight. And my thoughts of inadequacy and undeservedness - it feels good.
And amazing.
To know that I am known. That I am being taken care of. That I am not abandoned. I am not forgotten.
4 comments:
Tasha, you deserve all of this, don't feel guilty. I am a friend feeling guilty that I haven't been around more to help you, I am glad you are being taken care of. Please let me know if there is anything you need, I am here for you.
I don't think I could cope with being so sick for so long or being husbandless for so long! Because you are enduring both at the same time, you more than deserve any and all help!
I agree! You so deserve all that love! I felt the same way while on bed rest! It's overwhelming the love I felt from all the sisters and friends in my ward who took such great care of me! I'm so happy that you are receiving that same kind of service!!
I am so happy you are being taken care of! People are the greatest. And you know, the best thing is how contagious service is, and as soon as you are able - you will be serving again, too. Don't feel guilty, just bask in the gratitude you feel. It's beautiful. :)
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