It Could Have Been Me Part 2

Make sure you scroll down and read Part 1 first.

Our first GLORIA performance was Friday night. I wasn't feeling well. And we get to stand through the whole concert while holding our breath out for insane amounts of time and taking innumerable quick breaths that can make your head dizzy on a day when you feel well.

The last song before intermission the symptoms appeared. I got very hot and began to sway. My peripherals became black. I decided to just mouth the words to save my breath. Halfway through I put my music down and instead focused all my efforts on just staying afoot. Then there was clapping and I quickly staggered down the aisle to the green room. I fanned myself off, drank lots of water, and ate a few bites. I felt 100% better and was so relieved that I had not fainted.

Onto Act II of the performance. I made sure to keep my knees bent. I shifted my weight frequently. I probably looked more like a bouncing Baptist than a member of a dignified choral society. Then midway through the second-to-last song the symptoms appeared again.

But this time to my neighbor beside me.

She started swaying and was very disoriented. Her sister to her left and I tried to get her to sit down on the little ledge behind us. She refused, but finally relented. As she sat, I kept my arm behind her to steady her and held my music with my other hand. Suddenly she became a dead weight in my arms. Her hands spasmed and she dropped her head and her music which went sprawling on the floor. My eyes became wide as I tried to hold her up. Luckily a strong gentleman from the audience came to the rescue.

We lowered her to the ground, her legs all crumpled beneath her. The choir around us, including her sister, continued singing their "Gloria in excelsis deo"s while my neighbor lay on the floor like a corpse. A nurse from the audience came to offer advice. I raised her knees as instructed and continued to fan her pale face with my choir music. The nurse asked me her name as they tried to revive her. Blank... What kind of a neighbor am I? I don't even know my neighbor's name? Sure I'm new to the group, but the nurse didn't know that. I pretended not to hear the question. Afterall, there was an angelic choir still singing in my ear.

By the time the last song started, Wendy (I quickly learned her name afterward) began to come to. I gave her some water and the nurse and I helped her sit up. I continued to keep my hand on her back just in case. But I joined my voice with the rest of the choir.

"The Show Must Go On" has never had such meaning to me. Perhaps I should have stood with the choir and let the Good Samaritans from the audience do the reviving. But I had to help. Sure it left a big hole in the formation since two of its members were on the floor, but I do not regret it.

Besides, it could have been me. In fact, it probably should have been me.

I was laughing driving home that night. Laughing mostly out of joy. Joy that I knew I had done all I could to help in the situation. Joy because Wendy was fine and in good spirits - though a bit embarrassed. Joy because I was glad it hadn't been me. Joy because I knew that if it had been me that there are good people who are willing to help at a moment's fall. Joy because I knew I had been one of those good people tonight.

It Could Have Been Me Part 1

(this is not as good as the original, but oh well.)
I failed a test. I failed miserably. I wish I could go back and redo it.

The weather earlier this week was terribly snowy and treacherous on the roads. My test occurred while driving home from Salt Lake late Monday night from choir rehearsal.

I was third in line at the stop light. When it turned green, I followed the other two cars as we accelerated up the bridge that would take us over the Union Pacific train depot and then onto the on-ramp for the I-15. Halfway up that incline, the leader of our pack suddenly took an unexpected detour which smashed it's front end head-on into the cement barrier to our right. My instincts sent my foot slamming down on the break where I soon realized the reason for the car's accidental detour - black ice! I lessened the pressure on my foot and with a tight grip, cautiously turned the wheel to my left to avoid the damaged car as it spinned off the concrete and slid into the left two lanes and then back toward the right shoulder. I made it past the black ice and watched as the collision became a reflection in my side-view mirror. Then with a pounding chest and white knuckles, I continued on my way.

But my mind was back on that bridge.

Why didn't I stop? Were the passengers okay? Did they need any help? Why didn't I stop?

I went over the list of excuses in my head:
- There was very little room on the shoulder and if I had stopped, it would have been dangerous and probably caused another accident
- I don't even have a cell phone so I wouldn't have been any help in that area.
- We weren't traveling very fast when the collision happened, so they're probably just fine.
- There were no other vehicles involved, so my testimony wouldn't be needed in regards to police matters.
- The other car between us stopped.
- blah blah blah....

Here I've been writing in this blog about wanting to show more love for strangers, and I didn't take advantage of the most obvious situation.

I've seen news clips about disinterested spectators. Surveillance cameras film a hit and run and the passersby don't even help the injured victim. I have been baffled by such clips. And now? I am one of those spectators!

What is it about survival that makes us so scared to help others? It is such a conflict in my mind. I want to help, but I want to stay safe.

But what if it had been me? It could have been me so easily. Would someone have helped me? I would have definitely needed it - since I don't have a cell phone especially. Would someone have risked their safety to come to aid? Would they have abandoned their comfort and routine to help me in my need?

Would I do the same for them if given another opportunity?



onto Part 2

You Guessed It

My post tonight is about Halloween... imagine that.

Farmer Tasha with her "produce"

I love Halloween
What an easy way to show Love for strangers
Give them some candy
And while we're at it, I'll take some too!