2 weeks. I’ve made it 2 weeks. Had you asked me at the end of last week if I could survive another, I would have said “noway”. But a meltdown last Saturday gave me new strength and I’ve faced this week stoic and brave.
When we knew Greg would be leaving, I told myself I would just take it one week at a time. Then he left and quickly that mind set went from one week, to one day, to one hour, to one breath at a time. Each breath trying to will myself to not be sick.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Just breathe.
Sometimes it works. When it is very, very quiet and I can be very, very still. But those moments are vastly rare in this house.
There is good news.
I am still pregnant.
I know this because I still throw up one. two. three. times a day. My daughter sometimes sits in her poopy diaper for up to an hour while I work up the strength to stomach the smell and texture. And the dishes in my sink have been sitting there since Wednesday.
I am definitely still pregnant.
So that is the good news.
If only I can try to remember it.
…………
The world did get a little sweeter this week with the birth of my newest nephew, Cody. It is worth it in the end. It’s worth it in the end.
4 comments:
I hope I can come back soon. I know how hard it is for you.
I wish I was your next door neighbor, so I could run over to change diapers! I actually kind of like doing dishes though, so call me if you need some help with them!
Like doing the dishes???? Crazy girl! Mine are still sitting here if they're calling your name. :) I was going to try to tackle them after nap time.
I also wish I lived closer. I'm on the other end of pregnancy and am getting less and less mobile and able to do stuff. But if I were in your neighborhood I could also pitch in on the diaper business. I am just sorry you're alone right now.
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