Treasure

We’re living in Mesa. This is home to me, though it still feels like we’re just visiting.

These are my old stomping grounds. My kids are playing in the same parks that I did. I shop at the same stores that my mom did. We are even in the same ward that I was as a child. There are lots of familiar faces. Lots of people I know. And even more that my Mom knew.

She is everywhere here. I see her in the faces of old friends. In the grocery stores she shopped. In the boutiques she frequented. I see her in the restaurants she loved. In the parking lot she taught me drive in. The school ball fields she watched me play in. I see her in the people she admired. The people she loved and respected. The people that loved her.

It’s nice to be around her again.

I miss her.

I miss her hugs.

I miss her notes.

She wrote me notes all the time. Uplifting, positive, encouraging notes.

When she died, I searched and searched for one of these notes.

And cried and cried when I couldn’t find any. She wrote them so often, I must have one day decided to toss them, knowing that I would receive a new one in a short amount of time. Until suddenly, that time did not exist any more. And I ached to see my Mom’s handwriting and read those words meant just for me.

Today I unpacked an old box. One that had never been unpacked in the 5 years that we lived in Utah.

What a beautiful treasure I found. Not one, not two, but multiple letters from my Mom! From when I lived in the dorms at BYU. They are old. They will only get older. But as I read them, I like to think they still apply. Written in her beautiful cursive and signed with a heart. It is like art to look at and poetry to read.

Dear Tasha -

I just want you to know how much I love you. You have given me so much joy all your life. I love how you hug me so much. I love your noisy, smoochy kisses. I love the fact that you can’t help but smile when I’m egging you on. I love your sunny disposition and your tender, tender heart. I really do know that I can trust you, Tash – I would trust you with my life. I’m really looking forward to seeing you with your own children because I know you will be a fantastic mother.

You are a wonderful daughter, Tasha – one of the six best in the world! You would probably be embarrassed if you knew how much I brag about you to others. If it ever seems like I’m being hard on you, it’s only because I know your potential.

To me you have it all, Tasha – beauty, brains, personality, talent, and above all, a sweet spirituality that makes you glow. You have a special ability in writing and I anticipate reading many interesting stories and thoughtful poems as your life expands. You have established some wonderful habits of scripture reading and prayer that I hope you will always continue. These habits will help you to “fill your well” so you will be ready when others come to you for help and encouragement. I know many people will be blessed by their association with you. You make people happy. You make me happy. I am happy when I hear you sing or play the piano. I’m happy when I watch you in sports. But mostly I am happy when I see you put the gospel into action by giving of yourself to others. I dreamt of having seven children, but I never dared dream to have a child as special as you.

Thank you for being so loveable.

d Love, Mom

Thank you Mom. Thank you for building me up when I’ve needed it. I needed it today. I needed you today.

And you were here.