It’s official. I don’t like Mother’s Day. All it does is set husbands up for failure, and wives up for disappointment. Remember last year? And as much as I tried to not care; to not have any expectations; to not think for more than a brief moment of my own mother - I think that I will always care; always have some expectations; and always think of my mother.
I remembered my lesson from last year. And decided to focus my Mother’s Day energies on someone else again. I love my ward, but when it comes to Mother’s Day, it has failed to deliver these last 4 years. I’m sure there is some sort of good reasoning behind their non-celebration, but I’m just not seeing it. I’m used to wards that turn the day into a Celebration of Women, where the youth and men take over all of the Primary duties and all women are invited into Relief Society for a special, feel-good lesson and brunch. Now, that is Mother’s Day.
So, instead of being disappointed in our ward for yet another year, I decided to take matters into my own hands. The two gals I visit-teach just so happen to both teach my daughter’s nursery class together. Early in the week I gave them a call and told them each to plan on taking Mother’s Day off. I would like to teach their class.
I was excited all week to put myself aside and focus on serving them instead. I only hinted, briefly to Greg on my way to the grocery store Friday and asked if there was anything he was wanting me to get at the store for Sunday dinner. He acted clueless. But he is a big teaser and I figured he was just messing with me.
Sunday came. No breakfast in bed. But that’s okay. I’m not caring this year.
The kids brought me the gifts they made in school. Huge Highlight! They were so proud of them. Zion’s was a beautifully decorated poem with her two little handprints and name that she wrote all by herself. Evan’s was a picture of me, with short brown hair (we’re still working on drawing long
Evan says:
I don’t know how old my mom is, my dad is like 17 but my mom is way bigger than that. (After asking his mom) Write down my mom is 29, Miss Eileen.
My mom is prettiest when she sprays water in her hair.
My mom likes to make a cake.
My mom always says it’s time for bed.
My mom is funny when she says Stay on the sunny side, banananana, then at the ending she says knock knock, who's there, orange, orange you glad I didn’t say banananana again?
Classic!
Nursery was great. My partner and I did Mother’s Day handprint poems with the little ones, we gabbed up a storm, wiped noses when needed, and put out flames when required. It was all worth it to see our two sisters’ rested eyes afterwards. They both totally deserve the day off!
The rest of the day? Well the rest of the day probably isn’t worth mentioning. Let’s just say I tried my darndest to not care, to not be disappointed. But I guess I’m just a Mother’s Day Snob.
I ended up making German Pancakes for dinner – the go-to, feel-better meal. I served it up on my Mom’s “You are Special Today” plate - because I felt I deserved it.
post script: Redemption
This evening, Greg gave me a note he had written last night after the storm. I’m definitely a note kind of girl. Redemption indeed. I wanted to preserve it. A blog is good preservation.
Tasha,
I’ve been thinking a lot about the things you do as a mother for our family.
Most notably you are a very loving and thoughtful mother to our children. You are constantly teaching them new and wonderful things and I am absolutely amazed every day at the things they learn from you. I know that you love our children with all your heart. I see it in the way you look at them and smile at them and talk to them. And they know how much you love them and they reciprocate that love and hold you dear to their hearts.
You are always so thoughtful in the things you do for all of us. Your heart is pure and you do everything to let us know how much you think about and love every one of us.
I hope you feel appreciated. I know I don’t always show it and the kids don’t show it all the time either. We love you. I love you and I hope I can make you feel as important as you really are.
Love,
Greg
7 comments:
That is a very nice note. I'm a note girl too.
I got some hilarious question and answer stuff from my kids too! Ah, I never get tired of it.
And my new ward sucks at Mother's Day too. I'm with you: I want someone else to do my ding dang job for one day and give me a slice of cheesecake. This ward will make you Relief Society president when your baby is two months old and your husband is in school full time. They're not messing around. Sorry it sounds like you have the same model. :)
last year our ward gave out stupid flowers. flowers are super dumb cause you can't eat them...imho. i guess enough of us complained cause this year we not only got chocolate -- duh! what else would you get women? -- but it was four entire bars of it from see's candies. now that's redemption for you :)
mother's day is a hard one. this is the first year i decided not to be offended that my kids were being so nice to me. usually it bothers me that they are same ol' same ol' on saturday, nice as ever on sunday, and same ol' same ol' on monday. it only took me 10 years to get over it. if you do it in half the time tash you are a better woman than me :)
Wow, See's chocolates huh? That is awesome! Probably would have made me even more grumpy though since this is the "no chocolate" year. :) The flowers would have even been a step up for our ward, which literally does nothing. I don't know if it's so women without children won't feel left out, but honestly, there is no reason to leave them out any way. It should be Women's Day. The Mother's Days I had during my infertile years were some of the sweetest and I cared more about those dinky petunias those years than I probably would now anyway. That's funny, Liv, about your kids being angels on that day. I think it's great though, that they put in the thought and effort for at least one day. :)Though I can definitely see the frustration. Luckily, my kids aren't really old enough yet to grasp that concept so I can't be offended yet. But unfortunately, that means it all falls on my husband's shoulders. And therein lies the rub. :)
Sorry about another bummer of a mother's day. The hype is almost as bad as a birthday or valentine's day. I think they will get better when the kiddos are a little older and can do things for you. I love that you chose to focus on others and subbed in nursery. (I wondered where you were) When you said you have been disappointed in our ward for the last 4 years it made me think a lot. I also have thought about how nothing 'special' is done for the amazing women in our ward. Then I thought...that is not why we go to church. We are there to worship and learn of the Savior. Not mother's. Though we do play an essential part in The Plan we do not celebrate us, just Him. So while 'Mormon tradition' has in the past been full of geranium's and the occasional chocolate, I think it is an unneccessary tradition. It's not the ward's responsibility to make us feel special on mom's day, it is nice, but not their job. I think we all (myself included)just need to drop even BIGGER hints to the hubbies.
You are so right Elisa. Darn! :)
Okay, so here's the solution - the week BEFORE Mother's Day, the Priesthood lesson needs to be on "Appreciating Women" and the handout should be step-by-step instructions on how to achieve a perfectly celebrated Mother's Day, for either helping the kids pull it off, or doing it themselves. (I'd even happily type it up.) How 'bout that? Wanna suggest it to the Bishopric for next year? You have an in. :)
I don't think my "in" would listen to me. But please do type something up and we can all just give it to our spouse. In fact, will you make one for every holiday that explains what we expect from them? And yet...there is a great possiblility that they still wouldn't get it right. Men!
I've had ups and downs with Mothers' Day. I didn't have a lot of hope this year, because we left for California for a week the day after Mothers' Day, and I figured I'd end up spending most of the day packing, organizing food, and being completely overwhelmed. I decided to get everything completely packed by Saturday night, and actually accomplished it. I also bought muffins for breakfast the next day so I knew I was getting something I wanted. So I kind of set myself up for an easier day. Our ward gives all the women 19 and older a gift, and this year it was chocolate and a bookmark. All the men in the ward sang (and I didn't have to ask them, which is usually my calling), and the primary sang, as is tradition in our ward. Tim cleaned the whole house so it wouldn't be a mess when we got back from our trip, and he made dinner. It was the first really good mothers' day I've had for a very long time. I love your idea of focusing on other mothers. I will try that next year. And I'm really glad Greg sent you that note.
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