Dear Zion, Nearly fourteen months of a daily ritual has ended. If you had told me in the beginning that I would eventually miss it, I would not have agreed.But I will miss it.
I will miss the ability to instantly make you happy.
I will miss the bonding -- the one-on-one time. Some days it was the only personal time I got to give to you.
I will miss your gentle tug.
I will miss being needed. You used to refuse any other source of nutrients. I was definitely needed.
I will miss needing you. In the last fourteen months there have been only two days that you were not by my side. And though I looked forward to those days, when they did come, I looked forward to seeing you again even more. Sometimes it was just a business transaction - you needed me and I needed you. But looking back on it now, it was a transaction of love.
I will miss giving you what you want. It was not my choice, but my body's. Now when I am holding you and you pat my chest with a whine in your voice, I will have to endure it. I am sorry Zion. And even though our time together was recently only once a day, I will miss it.
Thank you for being so good to me these last fourteen months. I am proud of you for being such a good nurser and proud of myself for sacrificing for so long. But I am sad that it is over.
One day you will get to share this bond with your own daughter. And then you will understand.
6 comments:
I know I've said it before, but I love your blog. It is so sweet. It makes me cry almost everytime...someday I hope to experience similar things.
I was so sad when this day ended with Parker. I loved every minute of nursing, even at 2am. He stopped at 9 months on his own and I cried.
I really admire you for nursing for so long. I could do Aydon for only 7 months, but I'm hoping to nurse Eri longer. We'll see. I'm not sure I have the patience for it.
That is such an adorable picture! You tow look great! I have never been able to nurse, 5 weeks was the longest, and I was starving him!
When is Zion's b-day? my hudson's is oct 26, he is almost 14 months. . . he's still nursing, but less and less. I don't look forward to him stopping. I love the cuddle time.
What a nice photo! Who took that??
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